I Am Bismark


dumbledore’s sexual orientation

ok, so dumbledore is gay. la-dee-fricken dah. who cares?! the books were still terrible due to their lack of cho chang playing a more central role of being HOT. see my feelings on the topic here and here. i think harry potter must have been a little gay to pass her up.

always fresh.

i was walking through the student center tonight and some band was singing. i overheard just this lyric:

“Activate your halo! Do your good turn for today-o!”


finished enjoying a little debbie fudge brownie.

wondering if intel is going to call this morning or not.

clarifying, yet unsatisfying.

well, i received an apology today for this. apparently thats what she was calling me about. she told me she hoped i didn’t think she was rude for not telling me she had a boyfriend, and that because it was long distance, she thought it was alright if she accepted one date. i thought of a number of things i could have said, but i’m glad i didn’t to her face. they were:

you having a boyfriend was not the rude part, the way that you handled the situation (having your roommates drop that tidbit in a rather conspicuous fashion and then you telling me that you had forgotten about the date anyway) was the rude part. if you had told me right when i asked that you had a boyfriend, i would have not held any sore feelings. it is not insulting to me to tell me that another guy had already been attracted to the same things i was attracted to and he had just gotten there first. i can respect that. but don’t make it into childish games.

i won’t find it rude that you have a boyfriend if you don’t find it rude that i am not interested in taking out taken girls, even just for “fun”. my time and money are both finite resources. i have to choose carefully on who i spend them on. if i ask you out on a date, then i am interested in you and a possible relationship between us. i have a severe dislike for the provo shotgun dating paradigm of just going on dates with anyone to fill up your weekends. if i am not interested in a relationship, then we can hang out and be friends. but if i am going to put myself out on the line and invest the time, money, and emotions into taking you out, its because from what i have seen so far, you are attractive to me, and i want to spend time getting to know you to see if that attraction continues. thanks but no thanks for the trite invitation to still do it another time.


i just realized that i’ve never been asked to a preference dance. now, i realize of course that preference dances are usually totally lame and no one goes anyway, but still, it caused me to pause and think. why would this be the case? perhaps all this time of me telling myself that i have a chance with a large number of women if i would just put in the effort was just wishful thinking? maybe the reason i don’t date often is not merely just failing to go out to meet girls i am interested, but girls actively avoiding contact with me. i am being a bit tongue in cheek here, though perhaps readers should correct me if i should take this more seriously.

ok, now this is not a request for any invitations to preference this weekend. nothing is trumping the leopard release party. plus i hate dressing up. ok, maybe these are reasons i’ve never been asked.

a response to the board, part 2

see http://theboard.byu.edu/index.php?area=viewall&id=40189.

much love female writers of the board. the kind words are appreciated.

krishna - see here and here and here for times that i have extensively written for the board. what more could you possibly want!?

dragon lady - “almost thou persuadest me to be a [boardie] [again].” i do have to chuckle every time i log into one of my credit card accounts because the password is something along the lines of “life-long 100 hour boardie.” ah, yes, those were days. you let me know when the official attractive asian girl is found, and then i might come back.

azriel - you are just jealous because i wouldn’t watch your movie.

tangerine - careful, you might make my sworn enemy jealous. t-shirt designs are already being made to promote the battle.

a few things to add to one of those murphy’s law posters

when saturdays are the only free day you have to do something, it WILL rain/sleet/snow on you while you try to ride your scooter.

when you need to get to a store on a certain day because you aren’t free for the rest of the week, they WILL change their times to close an hour earlier than their website says.

when you are trying to be healthy and sleep well, you WILL catch a cold. probably because of the rain/sleet/snow.

back from the weight room. angry about the weather: Provo, UT: 45°F and Overcast

intriguing. yet a little awkward.

so, i got a very interesting phone call last night somewhat related to this this. i’m kind of glad i was in the middle of high school musical (ok, don’t ask) and just let it go to voice mail. i returned the voice mail just now, and of course it might be completely unrelated, but it was a little unexpected.

very glad he has now seen high school musical. ok, actually, not that proud of it.

caps lock

so, i disabled my caps lock key. i really didn’t see the need for it, because it only just gets accidently bumped and causes an annoyance. i feel good about things, EXCEPT its now difficult to talk like t-rex.

i like these short blogs. i hope you do TOO!

dying of boredom. Provo, UT: 53°F and Partly Cloudy

doing homework Provo, UT: 46°F and Mostly Cloudy

sitting in ECEn 324 class. Provo, UT: 37°F and Partly Sunny

feeling up for some delicious philosophical compromise.


i do not hook up with random girls. i have a three date rule.

i figured if i put it in writing it would actually help me to keep it.

support me in not being a player!

spell checking

i usually take notes in class with a pencil in a notebook. when there is a word that i can’t remember the spelling to, i usually give it a shot, and then i am surprised when it isn’t underscored in red.

curse you computers, i’ve been spoiled.



everyone should get it. i know most of my friends do the whole updating of their IM status thing all the time, but whats the fun without a record of it? finding a program that will update both the status and twitter is trivial (see here)

become friends with me and we can see each other’s statuses all the time!

once again, its:



so, i am curious as to who actually reads this.

over 50% of my page views come from provo. not surprising i suppose since thats where the most people actually know of bismark.

another 14% comes from along the wasatch front. again, not too surprising.

outside of utah, the highest number of hits comes from the san francisco bay area. i bet most of those are molecularbond.

outside of that, there are some interesting ones.

someone in las vegas visited here three times with an average time on site of twelve minutes! that beats out the second highest average time by nine minutes!

someone in rochester MN has been reading this. i can’t think of who i could possible know there.

i have six hits from wisconsin, though none of them show up as baraboo. where is the love goda?

who in the world do i know in indiana, ohio, and maryland?

well, much love dear readers. leave a comment, give me a shout out.

stats brought to you by google analytics

therapeutic blogging

so, recently there was a girl i was interested and i decided to ask out. unfortunately, asking out is not a simple thing for me to for some reason (so if any of you readers have been asked out by me, feel privileged), so it took a little bit more effort than it should have.

she is in my ward, which maybe makes my interest a bad idea in the first place, but whatever, i figured a hot girl was a hot girl. sooo, i talked to her a couple of times at FHE, and i tried to get buddy buddy with her roommates. then one time she announced she was singing in a choir concert, so i was like, sweet, perfect opportunity to make an impression. so me and my two dear friends got some tickets and hit up this choir concert. i then rehearsed a few lines of what i was going to say to her when we met at church the next sunday. amazingly, she came up and said hello first, and then she asked me if i could come over to fix her computer. i was like whoa, how do i get this lucky?! i still dropped the line about really enjoying the concert, blah blah, just for extra brownie points. anyway, next i got myself pumped to ask her out while i was over there fixing her computer. i headed over, but all of her roommates were sitting around, so i didn’t see a good chance. fortunately, it sounded like they were going straight to campus after FHE that night, so i figured if i could just extend the computer repair until after FHE, i would have a great chance at talking to her alone. so, i did just that, and i diligently headed back over after FHE to finish the job. when i got there, she was on the phone with her friend, and she said something about being excited for the weekend. it sounded to me like she was talking about a boy, so i decided to bail out on the asking out plan. i got back, and i was a bit disappointed, but then my friends convinced me to try asking her out anyway, because i would never know for sure unless i did. so i called her up and asked her out. she said yes. i figured this was a good thing. everything seemed cool, i was going out with this girl i was kind of crushing on, and i was finally excited about dating again. the date was for the next tuesday, so monday comes rolling around and i am riding in the car with her roommates to go to FHE. they started talking about her long distance boyfriend who was in town for the weekend and how great of a guy he was. the conversation was obviously planned ahead and meant for me to hear. i was like, huh?! why did she say yes to me if she is going out with someone? so i said screw that, i’m not wasting my time, so as soon as i got home i called her up to cancel. she then told me that she had forgotten about the date anyway, so it was ok. super.

ok, so either there is a boyfriend or she was just trying to get out of a date with me, but either way, i really think it was a pretty rude and immature the way she handled it. it bugged me. i was upset about it. which in turn made me more upset because i knew i shouldn’t have been upset about some silly girl.

i’ve had kind of a dry spell with girls lately, so its been a bit discouraging to have something like that happen with a girl i actually was interested in. but i’ve decided i really need to stop letting myself care so much about these stupid little things. i like to make my life into more of an emo song than it really is (well, at least than it is right now.. i was pretty close to some good material there a year and a half ago). i need to just get over that kick and realize that there are going to be some nice attractive girls out there that won’t end up being crazy psychos or liars. this blog was just to get that off my chest.

i hate friday nights

i played some video games tonight as a break from studying. what the hell happened to me? where did i take a wrong turn? when did i become such a boring square? [insert a couple of swear words here because i am pissed].

impressing women with his manly swan boat driving skills

amazed at the idiocy in the daily universe today

thinking that everything should taste like bacon.

what i want out of life

sure, being rich and stuff would be nice, but i like to think of myself as a pretty simple guy. here is what i really want:

  1. i want to be able to always fly business class. no more being cramped in coach.
  2. i never want to have to wear a suit to work.

i think if i can do well enough in my schooling, finish at least a masters and possible a phd, then i should be able to achieve these goals.

wondering if its cold but too afraid of being cold to go outside and check

thinkng it is impossible to stay awake for an entire class of ECEn 370

on campus trying to make somethig up about antigone and justice

at home, eating lunch and watching arrested development

no longer buying anything with high fructose corn syrup

realizing a wallet is important to have in order to buy groceries

happy that moodblast works with facebook again!

i frustrate myself

“Watching Terrible tv*
it kills all thought
getting spacier than
an astronaut
making out with people
i hardly know or like
I can’t believe what I do
late at night.
I wanna know what it’s like
on the inside of love.
i’m standing at the gates
i see the beauty above
only when we get to see
the aerial view
will the patterns show
we’ll know what to do
I know the last page so well
i can’t read the first
so i just don’t start
it’s getting worse
i wanna know what it’s like
on the inside of love
i’m standing at the gates
i see the beauty above
i wanna know what it’s like
on the inside of love
i can’t find my way in
i try again and again
i’m on the outside of love
always under or above
i cant find my way in
i try again and again
i’m on the outside of love
always under or above
must be a different view
to be a me with a you
i wanna know what it’s like
on the inside of love
standing at the gates i see
the beauty above
i wanna know what it’s like
on the inside of love
of course i’ll be alright
i just had a bad night.
i just had a bad night.”

-nada surf

*except i am watching arrested development, which is actually pretty good.

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