I Am Bismark

well, i received an apology today for this. apparently thats what she was calling me about. she told me she hoped i didn’t think she was rude for not telling me she had a boyfriend, and that because it was long distance, she thought it was alright if she accepted one date. i thought of a number of things i could have said, but i’m glad i didn’t to her face. they were:

you having a boyfriend was not the rude part, the way that you handled the situation (having your roommates drop that tidbit in a rather conspicuous fashion and then you telling me that you had forgotten about the date anyway) was the rude part. if you had told me right when i asked that you had a boyfriend, i would have not held any sore feelings. it is not insulting to me to tell me that another guy had already been attracted to the same things i was attracted to and he had just gotten there first. i can respect that. but don’t make it into childish games.

i won’t find it rude that you have a boyfriend if you don’t find it rude that i am not interested in taking out taken girls, even just for “fun”. my time and money are both finite resources. i have to choose carefully on who i spend them on. if i ask you out on a date, then i am interested in you and a possible relationship between us. i have a severe dislike for the provo shotgun dating paradigm of just going on dates with anyone to fill up your weekends. if i am not interested in a relationship, then we can hang out and be friends. but if i am going to put myself out on the line and invest the time, money, and emotions into taking you out, its because from what i have seen so far, you are attractive to me, and i want to spend time getting to know you to see if that attraction continues. thanks but no thanks for the trite invitation to still do it another time.