I Am Bismark

so, recently there was a girl i was interested and i decided to ask out. unfortunately, asking out is not a simple thing for me to for some reason (so if any of you readers have been asked out by me, feel privileged), so it took a little bit more effort than it should have.

she is in my ward, which maybe makes my interest a bad idea in the first place, but whatever, i figured a hot girl was a hot girl. sooo, i talked to her a couple of times at FHE, and i tried to get buddy buddy with her roommates. then one time she announced she was singing in a choir concert, so i was like, sweet, perfect opportunity to make an impression. so me and my two dear friends got some tickets and hit up this choir concert. i then rehearsed a few lines of what i was going to say to her when we met at church the next sunday. amazingly, she came up and said hello first, and then she asked me if i could come over to fix her computer. i was like whoa, how do i get this lucky?! i still dropped the line about really enjoying the concert, blah blah, just for extra brownie points. anyway, next i got myself pumped to ask her out while i was over there fixing her computer. i headed over, but all of her roommates were sitting around, so i didn’t see a good chance. fortunately, it sounded like they were going straight to campus after FHE that night, so i figured if i could just extend the computer repair until after FHE, i would have a great chance at talking to her alone. so, i did just that, and i diligently headed back over after FHE to finish the job. when i got there, she was on the phone with her friend, and she said something about being excited for the weekend. it sounded to me like she was talking about a boy, so i decided to bail out on the asking out plan. i got back, and i was a bit disappointed, but then my friends convinced me to try asking her out anyway, because i would never know for sure unless i did. so i called her up and asked her out. she said yes. i figured this was a good thing. everything seemed cool, i was going out with this girl i was kind of crushing on, and i was finally excited about dating again. the date was for the next tuesday, so monday comes rolling around and i am riding in the car with her roommates to go to FHE. they started talking about her long distance boyfriend who was in town for the weekend and how great of a guy he was. the conversation was obviously planned ahead and meant for me to hear. i was like, huh?! why did she say yes to me if she is going out with someone? so i said screw that, i’m not wasting my time, so as soon as i got home i called her up to cancel. she then told me that she had forgotten about the date anyway, so it was ok. super.

ok, so either there is a boyfriend or she was just trying to get out of a date with me, but either way, i really think it was a pretty rude and immature the way she handled it. it bugged me. i was upset about it. which in turn made me more upset because i knew i shouldn’t have been upset about some silly girl.

i’ve had kind of a dry spell with girls lately, so its been a bit discouraging to have something like that happen with a girl i actually was interested in. but i’ve decided i really need to stop letting myself care so much about these stupid little things. i like to make my life into more of an emo song than it really is (well, at least than it is right now.. i was pretty close to some good material there a year and a half ago). i need to just get over that kick and realize that there are going to be some nice attractive girls out there that won’t end up being crazy psychos or liars. this blog was just to get that off my chest.