I Am Bismark

2008-12

testing out the new rss feeds

if you google reader folks get this post, the feeds are working!

official new blog!

ok, my blog has now officially moved to here:

http://www.cpanra.org/ryan

do the smart thing and update your bookmarks! plus, if you visit the old site, it should redirect you to the new one after a few seconds. for you feed users out there, i tried to get RSS feeds working correctly, but i think i failed. please update your feeds to this:

http://iambismark.net/index.xml

its been a good run and i hope to see you all over at the new site!

at the most happening place in baraboo: super walmart.

merry christmas

i hope all of you are having a great holiday season with family and friends. this christmas i’ve been thinking a lot about being grateful for what i have despite the many terrible things going on in this world. we are in a global recession and war rages in many parts of the world. i think the following poem by longsfellow has as much meaning today as it did when it was written 145 years ago:

I heard the bells on Christmas Day
Their old familiar carols play,
And wild and sweet
The words repeat
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And thought how, as the day had come,
The belfries of all Christendom
Had rolled along
The unbroken song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Till, ringing, singing on its way,
The world revolved from night to day,
A voice, a chime
A chant sublime
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then from each black accursed mouth
The cannon thundered in the South,
And with the sound
The carols drowned
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

It was as if an earthquake rent
The hearth-stones of a continent,
And made forlorn
The households born
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

And in despair I bowed my head,
“There is no peace on earth,” I said. “For hate is strong,
And mocks the song
Of peace on earth, good-will to men!

Then pealed the bells more loud and deep,
“God is not dead; nor doth he sleep!
The Wrong shall fail,
The Right prevail,
With peace on earth, good-will to men!”

whether you believe in God as an omnipotent being or even just as a symbol for the inherent goodness that exists in the human heart, i think we can all agree on the message of this poem. i hope and pray that this christmas will bring a little more peace and good-will to this world.

just finished taking a nap during the day the earth stood still. now time for dinner!

dear google reader-using friends

if you didn’t know, i am not a huge fan of web apps. i suppose i am a bit of a luddite, but desktop apps seem much more polished and robust. i hate constantly keeping tabs open and i hate site loading times. so i use apple mail instead of gmail, adium instead of gchat, ical instead of google calendar, etc. and for a news reader, i use the totally amazing and free netnewswire.

its an all around great app. the only thing that i feel like i am missing is google reader’s article sharing. for those of you who arent familiar with it, its a nifty feature that lets you share links back and forth with your gchat contacts. on a number of occasions i’ve had an insensitive clod ask me why i hadn’t read the link they shared.

so, i’ve found a solution. now i have access to my google reader-using friends’ feeds.

for those of you who want to see my shared links, go ahead and subscribe to the feed found here.

found one: im+ lite. seems to work ok. but why oh why do both aim and msn chat only allow a single login location? so lame.

are there any iphone multi-protocol apps that don’t make me sign up for a new service? i want to just log in directly to the service.

oh what a beautiful morning. -10 degrees with a -30 wind chill.

snow.

hello from snowy wisconsin. i thought there was too much snow in utah before i left, but i should have been grateful… there are a few drifts almost half way up my thigh in the backyard.

a quick recap of the week: finals. blah. they were pretty lame as expected, but i think i did well. i am pretty sure it will be all A’s and A-’s. also grad school apps. blah. i am trying not to think about them. makes me way too nervous.

i did manage to have some fun though. wednesday night mariam and i went up to slc to check out the christmas lights on temple square. well, actually first we stopped by the gateway so i could return something and mariam could find a gift for her roommate. it was freaking cold. and it got freakingly colder as the night went on. like the foolish people we are we walked over to main street and got some dinner. by the time we were done it was 9:30 and it was freakingly colder yet! but since we had come for the lights, we decided to brave the cold and still go see them. it was worth it, they were really nice.

christmas lights

this is the only picture that turned out normal. this was right before mariam started swimming around in the reflection pool, which the security guards apparently frown upon. i told her so. its too bad that my camera sucks though since it was all really nice.

i flew home yesterday, and the wonderful weather only made me two hours late. that actually surprised me though after i stood in line for an hour only to find out it was for naught and then sprinting down the entire length of the denver international airport. today was just a relax day, though i did take care of a few christmas gifts.

i’ve been thinking about something: if someone told me they loved me for who i am, i would tell them they are insane. i hear that a lot though: “oh its so great that he loves me for who i am.” really, i would much rather be loved for who i can become and for my efforts in becoming that person than for who i am right now. and i tend love people in that way too, which i suppose can make me seem a bit harsh at times. i guess i just see a lot of potential in people and i find there is nothing more disappointing in this world than not living up to one’s potential (me often being the biggest disappointment in this department). just a bit of ryan’s daily wisdom for you.

I think we are going to make it!!! the flight to Madison was delayed and we ran down the length of the Denver airport to get here.

looks like I’m going to be stuck in Denver tonight.

“Baby, it’s also because I am sexy and loveable and smart and manly and sexy.”

“if i’m a nerd should i try not to be or should i embrace it”

blog stuff

just some stuff about my blog, mostly for you feed subscribers (88% of you who are unfortunate enough to use google reader…):

new additions/sidebar/whatever:

  • people that care about my life: if want to join this club of cool kids, you should follow my blog. click on “Follow this blog” over on my sidebar! you will then get listed along with all the other awesome people! and if you have a blog, then its like free advertising!

  • reactions: just testing this out. if you want to tell me a certain post was lame, come over to my blog and click one of the checkboxes at the bottom of the post.

  • my microblog: i have my twitter feed in my sidebar. but instead of just checking it out there, come see it here and follow me on twitter!

  • my bookmarks: occasionally i will bookmark something on delicious. thats also in my sidebar!

  • get out and VOTE!: there are only 49 days left to vote in my year long “do you know me irl” poll. we are sitting at 43% yes, 56% no! http://www.iambismark.net for those of you who are too lazy. and dear lurkers, give a shout out in the comments next time. i love to hear from you.

stats for december:

top ten states that visit my blog:

  1. utah
  2. oregon
  3. texas
  4. california
  5. wisconsin
  6. idaho
  7. oklahoma
  8. nevada
  9. pennsylvania
  10. north carolina

top referring sites:

  1. itsallyellow.blogspot.com
  2. fiberopticowl.com
  3. canuckette.blogspot.com
  4. thecuriousincidentofmichelle.blogspot.com
  5. danandkimberlytaylor.blogspot.com
  6. accountingchick.blogspot.com
  7. brittbeelynn.blogspot.com
  8. chillygator.blogspot.com
  9. nanti-sarrmm.blogspot.com
  10. tismabel.blogspot.com

top web searches that led to my blog (this cracked me up…):

  1. bismark blog
  2. broccoli burps
  3. “another night another dream but always you”
  4. american crew citrus mint shampoo review blogspot
  5. cloak boy
  6. hishashiburi meaning
  7. if i’m a nerd should i try not to be or should i embrace it
  8. raw brocolli makes burps stink
  9. stinky burps
  10. what do you think another another night another dream lyrics mean

berkeley is now in. now i can relax a bit and take my finals.. hah!

washington and wisconsin are done. need to get berkeley in within the next four hours.

done removing negative energy. now i need to get back to work. hello grad school apps.

a good christmas

here is my journal entry from christmas in japan. my journal writing style was always quite matter of fact, so it perhaps sounds a bit dry, but this day really meant a lot to me. i still look back on it fondly:

“So Christmas Eve was a pretty normal day. At Eikaiwa we tried to get people into the Christmas mood, but no one cared, and there were only seven of them, so it wasn’t too good. Then, because I felt like we needed some Japanese Christmas, we ran to a convenience store and bought some hot chocolate and a Christmas cake (white cake with strawberries) for $12 (they know how to get an income here!). Then, after we dropped off the gifts my mother sent for the Watanabe family1 (apparently they heard me running away and they could recognize my footsteps. Hmm), we went home, heated our chocolate, lit the candles on the cake, and then to the candle light we read Luke 2 and sang Silent night, after which we ate. Not a bad Christmas Eve celebration. The next morning was my phone call with home, which went fine. Everyone sounded happy. Then we went up to the elderly people’s home in Kuroiso, that we went to last time, for a Christmas party. That was a lot of fun and I got to sing to everyone again. After we got home from that and Elder Superti bought a calling card for his call home, we went to another elderly home (one at which Nogami shimai works) we had the same thing (I sang again). We split up and sat at tables to help people, and I was with three women in wheel chairs, who were all very genki and lively. They got Christmas gifts, each of which had a scarf in it. I asked if they wanted to wear it, and they said yes, so I put them on for them. While I was doing that, I got the feeling I would see those women again and they would thank me for that. Interesting. After the party, we dropped off a bunch of bags of candy to people, shared a scripture, and sang. We had a ton of people, so we were quite rushed, but we got done in just 5 minutes overtime. It was a busy Christmas, but I think I got a lot more out of it than one at home with lots of presents and food. Good times.”

i hadn’t remembered the scarf part until i reread this entry this morning. it made me smile.


  1. this was a poor brazilian family that had recently been baptized. my mom sent hats and gloves for us to give to them as secret santas

short update

well the semester is over. yeah sure. finals are this week, but who really cares about finals. when all my classes’ grades are based over 50% on projects, then finals definitely become less important.

this last week has been pretty nuts. lots of late nights, not much sleep. i had a bunch of final projects i had to finish. in my operating systems design class, i had one project that was four weeks overdue (i was supposed to do it over the weekend of my birthday.. yeah, that didn’t happen). but i spent some good time in my professor’s office (he was quite understanding of why the project was late.. he even mentioned having single daughter my age..), and i finished it up wednesday morning. we had worked out exactly how much extra credit i needed to do in order to get back to an A, and thursday night at 10 pm (midnight being the deadline), i passed off the last little bit. that was sure nice getting four weeks of pressure off of my shoulders.

all of my other projects somehow got fit in also, though my embedded systems final project didn’t quite get done.. i guess we win some and we lose some. partial credit will have to do.

i also got in my first grad school application to stanford. it was painful to say the least. essay writing just plain sucks. tomorrow washington, wisconsin, and berkeley are due. no playing tonight.

monday night we had a ward talent show. my roommate chris and i did the amazing spit boy trick. always a good time.

my jeans arrived. i like them.

ive been spending a lot of time with mariam lately. she is a really great girl. she is just so… good i guess is the way to put it. i am not sure if being hurtful or dishonest is something she even knows how to do. its kind of a breath of fresh air from both the recent and past girls i’ve spent time with. we shall see where this goes.

i realized i cant worry about the decisions people make when i no longer have any influence in their lives. what they choose to do might be sad, but ultimately its up to them. if anything, it gives me good reason to remember to say my prayers and include them.

in kind of a sour mood. just not happy with myself. spent most of the day in bed. miss being in love, wondering if it can happen again.

why hasn’t anyone made a “premium” hot chocolate shop in Provo? it seems like the perfect market. anyone is free to steal my idea.

I’ve written two kernel schedulers, a virtual memory, a file system, multiple mutual exclusion systems… but the DMA controller beat me. :(

i can run multiple tasks in only two frames of memory. SUCK IT 4 WEEKS OVERDUE VIRTUAL MEMORY PROJECT!!!!!

standford application is in. only five more to go.

this is fun

How BYU are you?

77 questions.

[X] You have been kissed at lease once
[_] Your first kiss was on campus
[X] You’ve had a boyfriend/girlfriend
[X] You lived in the dorms your freshman year
[_] You went to Homecoming or Preference
[X] You hiked the Y
[_] You’ve taken a social dance class
[X] You regularly attended FHE for at least a semester
[_] You’ve participated in Choose to Give
[_] You’ve been to Liberty Square for a party at least once
[_] You’ve driven around south of campus for at least 20 minutes trying to find a parking spot
[X] You know the cougar fight song
[X] You’ve crossed the crosswalk without using the flags or biked through a red light
[X] You’ve been to Friday Night Live
[_] You’ve performed or witnessed an act that made it onto Police Beat
[_] You’ve been on a “date” to the bell tower or duck pond
[_] You’ve been to the Bean Museum for FHE
[X] You’ve been to Divine Comedy
[X] You’ve been to International Cinema
[_] You are engaged
[_] You are married
[_] …in the temple
[_] You were previously engaged/married
[_] You have kids or are expecting kids
[X] Your birth parents are still married
[X] …in the temple
[X] You have at least three siblings
[_] You’ve taken a marriage prep or relations class
[X] You’ve taken at least one religion class that is not based on the scriptures
[_] You have slept on a couch in a restroom
[X] You have been to the BYU Creamery
[_] You have been in one of the BYU choirs
[X] You’ve been on a date to Fat Cats
[_] You have read Twilight
[_] …book 2
[_] …book 3
[_] …book 4
[_] …seen the movie
[_] …more than once
[_] You’ve waited in line at the Bookstore for the Harry Potter or Twilight book premiere
[X] You have seen The Singles Ward or Sons of Provo
[_] You have walked out of a movie you found morally reprehensible
[_] You know where the “chastity line” is (did i miss this sunday school lesson?)
[X] You can finish the phrase “Nothing good happens after ______”
[X] You read the Daily Universe at least 3x a week
[_] …and it’s the only newspaper you read
[X] You’ve personally known someone who was reported to the Honor Code Office
[_] You’ve participated in or watched a Mr. BYU contest
[_] You’ve received personal revelation that he/she is “the one” (or been told this)
[_] …and told him/her about your revelation (or been told this)
[_] …and then they rejected you (or rejected them)
[X] You’ve been to the Nickelcade
[X] You’ve been to Classic Skating
[X] You’ve ignored your parents’ phone calls for at least 3 days
[_] …and then they called the University Police
[_] You’ve been pulled over by the University Police
[X] You watch The Office religiously
[_] You mostly wear jeans and t-shirts or plain fitted shirts
[X] You own at least 3 things from American Eagle or Hollister
[X] Your sacrament meeting is a fashion show/scam session
[_] You’ve been on a date to the Provo River

You’ve kissed in a…
[X] …campus parking lot
[X] …Provo Canyon or Squaw Peak
[X] …on temple grounds
[X] …on a couch as soon as your roommates left the room
[X] You think UVU is not a real university
[_] You hate U of U with a passion

FOR GIRLS (don’t answer if you’re a guy)
[_] You own knee-length shorts
[_] You regularly wear camisoles/undershirts for modesty reasons
[_] You are a MFHD, RMYL, Elementary Education, or Exercise Science Major
[_] Your major crush ended up dating a MFHD, RMYL, Elementary Education, or Exercise Science major
[_] You have had at least one roommate who is in hair or dental school
[_] You own The Italian Job or The Princess Bride (OMG! i was right!)
[_] You wear makeup at least 3x a week
[_] You do something with your hair (other than brush it/ponytail) at least 3x a week
[_] You went or plan on going on a mission
[_] …because you couldn’t get married

FOR GUYS (don’t answer if you’re a girl)
[_] You shave every (or almost every) morning
[_] You know when your hair is “too long”
[X] You know what the “divide by 2 and add 7” dating rule is
[X] …and you follow it
[X] You’ve dated freshmen girls as a RM
[X] …when you already knew better
[X] You’ve used the phrase “On my mission…” to a girl
[X] At least 3 girls have baked cookies or meals for you
[X] You went or plan on going on a mission
[_] …because you wanted to get married

TOTAL: 38

A: 68-77
B: 60-67
C: 53-66
D: 45-52
F: 44 or below.

FAIL!!!!!! woot.

grateful to have a little bit of the Christmas spirit from the first presidency devotional.

finals are easy… final projects all due in the last week of school on the other hand…

I think my filesysten is done. just don’t ask to look at my code please shudder.

ward christmas party. taking a break from writing FAT in order to put on some FAT…. HEY-O!

really happy that there is some dude who walks around campus wearing a hoody that says “i’m looking for a japanese girlfriend” in kanji…

If you have three Pepsis and drink one, how much more refreshed are you?

why i’m grateful for provo

as most of you already probably know, i am not a huge fan of provo. right before i came out to school here, i was talking with my branch president back in wisconsin, and he gave me the following advice about provo: “get your education, and then get out of there.” for the last 4 years, i’ve kept that in mind and never once have i questioned it. once i am done with my undergraduate degree, i am leaving utah valley, and i have no desire to live here again.

nevertheless, i am grateful for some things here. there are benefits.

one of the biggest complaints i hear about provo is that there is nothing to do. i’ve decided thats just not true. there is just as much to do here as in wisconsin, or california, or oregon, or japan. real “fun” comes from surrounding yourself with interesting and stimulating people, no matter what the activity.

in fact, the need to find creative activities to have fun is refreshing. in most college towns, freshman and sophomores spend their weekends wishing they were 21 and wondering which places don’t card. let me just say this: bars are lame. every one that i have gone to, even with good friends, i have been absolutely unimpressed. i’ve always thought no wonder people feel the need to get drunk at these places, they are boring as hell.

i’m going on a date tonight. we are going to get hot chocolate and go bowling. to a lot of people that might sound boring as hell, but i know its going to be fun. there is no need for us to drink to have fun. i am friends with the girl, so i know we will be able to joke around, laugh, and just enjoy each other’s company. when we are done, i will drive her home, give her a hug, and drive home with a smile on my face knowing i had fun. there won’t be any debate as to whether i should ask to come in for the night or not. there won’t be any waking up the next morning and thinking oh crap what did i do last night. it just makes having a good time simple.

i appreciate that about provo. i hope i can keep finding good people to surround myself with once i move away from provo. i want to still have this simple, but actually really awesome fun.

Yeah, the guy wearing the $4,000 suit is holding the elevator for the guy who doesn’t make that in four months. COME ON.

writing a fat 12 filesystem. i need to turn it in by wednesday. goodbye sleep.

aww crap now I remember what I was supposed to be doing all weekend.. let’s just forget about sleeping for the next few weeks.

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